Being a mother changes things

Today the kids and I made handprint pictures with paint and we made butterflies with our footprints.

One of the pictures is just on a regular piece of paper and its both pairs of their footprints with antenna, so they look like butterflies. We also did this to a watering can that I have my bamboo plant in. I just keep staring at them. If I had 10 things I had to leave the house with and leave the rest behind, I know that bamboo can would come with me.

Its a moment of time. A moment I can never get back, but we captured it.

Before I know it, these kids will be leaving and going their own ways and doing their own thing. I am so thankful that I can be home with them to cherish the moments we have now while I am still the center of their world.


Before I was a mom, I would have placed value in other things. Money, electronics, etc etc... Now I am so attatched to this water can... I think that long after my children outgrow their favorite toy (bear and bunny) I will stash them in a memory box and open it now and then and just remember.

People look at me and think I am not accomplishing anything. They see me as a failure.

I am a young, unmarried mother of 2 kids. Their father doesn't live with us. I have a career but I haven't been in a salon in over a year. I am "wasting" my education. "Wasting" my life. My church wouldn't pray over my daughter because she was born out of wedlock. I am a sinner, a harlot. I am that poor unfortunate girl that was taken a fool. "You have beautiful kids, don't have anymore!" my family tells me jokingly. Old women in the grocery store comment "My, you have your hands full!"

Yes. I have my hands full. I am super mom.

But I made a choice. I kept my kids. If I didn't want to be a mom there are plenty of women in line to adopt babies. I love my kids more than I love anything in the world. More than I love myself.

You see, I'm not "wasting" my life.

I chose to be a mother.

This is not a hardship. These children are the best thing that have ever happened to me.

I have learned more from them than they will ever learn from me.